April 2013
1 post
February 2013
1 post
September 2012
2 posts
Controlled crazy is being able to restrain from banging your head against the back of the BART seat even though that’s what every inch of your skull is begging you to do. It is humming quietly instead of screaming, the vibrating feeling in your throat can almost produce the same release. It’s when you pretend the tic that got past your sane-guard, a slashing motion under your left jaw, was just a weird way of scratching. Being controlled somedays takes a lot of physical and mental effort.
June 2012
1 post
April 2012
2 posts
March 2012
1 post
February 2012
3 posts
The subject is Virginia Woolf’s “mad” half-sister, Laura. The article is about Victorian families & expectations, Victorian treatment of the “imbeciles, idiots, and lunatics,” and the intersection of the two. Also, of course, about the role and influence of a mentally ill relative in a literary family.
January 2012
5 posts
A glimpse into the life and death of a soldier who committed suicide while on duty in Afghanistan:
The Army recently announced that it was charging eight soldiers — an officer and seven enlisted men — in connection with Danny Chen’s death. Five of the eight have been charged with involuntary manslaughter and negligent homicide, and the coming court-martial promises a fuller picture of the harrowing abuse Chen endured. But even the basic details are enough to terrify: What could be worse than being stuck at a remote outpost, in the middle of a combat zone, tormented by your superiors, the very same people who are supposed to be looking out for you? And why did a nice, smart kid from Chinatown, who’d always shied from conflict and confrontation, seek out an environment ruled by the laws of aggression?
Jennifer Gonnerman | New York | Jan 2012
Why indeed! It is very annoying. I have a mini fucking pharmacy so I’ve worked out a simple method: I write the names & mg of the contents on the lids and for the one I take PRN I screw the lid on upside down:
The weird shaped Target one totally fucks up my system.
And its much harder to rip the personal information stickers off.
And its ugly.
December 2011
6 posts
This was originally posted February 26, 2010.
I deal with suicidal, unipolar depression and I take medication daily to treat it. Over the past seven years, I’ve had two episodes that were severe and during which I thought almost exclusively of suicide. I did not eat much and lost weight during…
“christmas spent lying on the floor of the lounge bewilderingly watching an old vhs tape of popeye. i had no idea what was happening, and that was fitting.”
This year I’m sane and I’m with my extended family. Everyone is aware of the situation but nobody mentions it, and if someone says, “Wait what did we do last year?” someone else gives him a meaningful look and change the subject. I want to go for a walk and smoke but that would worry my parents. I’m tired. I’m surprised by how emotional this is for me.
